My “Never Say Diabetic Chicken Pizza”

Since I am awaiting the results of my blood screen to officially diagnose me with diabetes I’ve decided to start a new quest to have food that doesn’t taste like a beer coaster. I’ve on a mission to come up with some goodies that are safe for me to eat, taste good… and well that I LIKE! So here’s my first recipe… made it up myself! 🙂

Never Say Diabetic Chicken Pizza



• 1ea “Flat Outs” Whole Grain Bread Wrap
• 4oz grilled chicken
(usually a single frozen breast will do)
• 1/4 cup shredded sharp cheddar cheese
• 1 cup skim milk shredded mozzarella cheese
• 1/8 cup Boboli pizza sauce
(or whatever you fav is)


• Pre-heat oven to 450º.
• Grill the chicken on your kitchen grill. I use a Foreman… so fast and yummy.
• Slice, pull, cube, etc the chicken breast. 4oz doesn’t sound like a lot but trust me it fills the bread and you will be stuffed. Since I’m now diabetic and need to drop weight I have to measure everything for now.
• Lay out the bread on stoneware or baking sheet.
• Spread sauce evenly over bread.
• Sprinkle cheddar evenly over sauce.
• Add chicken evenly over bread.
• Toss on the mozzarella evenly over the chicken.

• Feel free to add veggies if you like. Keep an eye on the nutrients though.
• Bake for 10 minutes.
• Chow the heck down.
That’s it! Hope you enjoy it.
Here’s the boring parts…


Carbs: 31g
Fat: 38g (Sat fat 21g)
Calories: 758 (approx)
Sugar: 3g
Protein: 79g
Cholesterol: 187mg
Sodium: 1315mg
Fiber: 1g

Now I now it has some sugar but honestly you can get rid of all but like 1g from the bread by switching the sauce to a 100% sugar free (good luck finding it) brand. I have to watch tomatoes due to reflux so I had to take the 2g of sugar from the sauce.

All in all I don’t think I did too bad for my first meal out of the chute. Depending on my blood panel I’ll tweak it as necessary. It looks yummy though, yes?

Mouths of Babes #7

Chandler grabs the fortune cookie from my Chinese take out last night and proceeds to eat it.

Chandler: “Daddy, it tastes sweet.”

Me: “Of course buddy, it’s a cookie.”

Chandler: “No… it says ‘It tastes sweet’… see?” [holds up fortune paper from cookie]

Fortune reads “It tastes sweet.”

Pet Peeve: Crushed Foods

This one will be short because I’m a little annoyed. One of my many pet peeves is crushed foods. More specifically crushed foods that aren’t meant to be crushed until you crush them in your mouth. I list my most disappointing crushed foods below and try to identify the source of the crushing.

Exhibit A: My Toast-Chee cracker hobby kit. I love Toast-Chee crackers. Perfect snack for me when I’m at work to take the edge of the tummy grumble. Nothing like tearing off that plastic wrapper and smelling the delicious, processed, cheesy, peanut-buttery goodness. What truly sucks is when you open the pack and they are all broken in tiny pieces so small that they crumble out of the wrapper onto the desk (or your lap when in the car). So small that they are inedible. So frustrating. What really makes it frustrating is that everything looks fine until you open the package. The wrapper was holding everything together. Grrr.

Suspected Crusher(s):

  • Disenfranchised grocery store stock clerks
  • My computer bag
  • Break room vending machines (seriously, why are crackers put on the highest shelf?)
  • Jealous co-workers

But there are other really annoying crushed foods.

Pringles: So fun and salty. Remember making the duck bill with them? My kids love that. You pop off that Tupperware top, pull back the foil and anticipate the stack sliding out granting you one savory chip at a time. Mmm nirvana. But no, you do all the above steps and you tilt the tube over to release the bounty and nothing but shards of Pringles pour into your lap. Argh. Of course this can apply to nearly any chip, but honestly when you by a bag of chips you kind of expect them to be broken most of the time. But not Pringles, you expect the packaging to protect them.

Suspected Crusher(s):

  • Disenfranchised grocery store stock clerks
  • Children who think it is a maraca
  • Jealous co-workers

Oreos: Ok other than my Toast-Chee being crushed this is my second most annoying crushed food. You open the fancy new resealable package and you carefully select the first cookie. You pick it up and one side of the cookie crumbles off the cream filling. This is not too bad if you are not a dunker. However for me (a dunker) this is pure frustration. Mainly because the crushed cookie waits for me to emurse it into a large glass of ice cold milk, then it completely disintegrates and sinks to the bottom of the glass. Then you have to get a spoon or fork and go Oreo fishing. That never works anyway. The cookie is beyond rescue after 5-10 seconds anyway. It just turns to mush. Just deal with the disappointment and move on.

Suspected Crusher(s):

  • Disenfranchised grocery store stock clerks
  • Careless grocery store baggers who put the spaghetti sauce jars on top of the cookies
  • Children who have not been trained in the important skill of Oreo eating
  • Jealous co-workers
  • Jealous spouses who are mad that you ate all of their Double-stuffs the previous week
  • Negligent eaters who set them on the couch and forgot they were there when returning with the ice cold milk

Fast Food: I’m sorry but I’m at about the end of my rope with this one. You see it on TV, you see it on the sign at the drive through, you see it in magazine adds and coupon sheets. That glorious, six inch tall juicy hamburger with all the trimmings. You order your sandwich beastie. You drive up. Pay. Drive off. You get back to your eating destination, unwrap it and prepare to feast. But you notice that your six inch tall meat beastie is a mere 3/4 of an inch tall with a large handprint in the middle. Not only is your burger crushed but so is your spirit. Why is it necessary to flatten a burger like that? No truth in advertising I say.

Suspected Crusher(s):

  • Disenfranchised fast food workers
  • Angry co-workers who lost the rock-paper-scissors gambit on who does the food run today
  • Angry spouses who didn’t like your ‘special order’ requirements

Ok so it wasn’t that short… sue me.

The Decline of the Spork

Spork 1Sitting in my SharePoint workshop today I was staring down at my hotel breakfast hobby-kit and noticed I had three utensils… a fork, spoon and knife. Of course that is all the distraction my brain needed and off it went on a tangent.

I began to think about my favorite eating utensils, chopsticks, spatulas, fingers, etc. Then I came to the spork. I began to think about it and I hardly ever see the spork anymore. I remember it most back in elementary through high-school. I remember the small little package of a napkin, knife, salt/pepper and a trusty spork (usually white as a brown colored spork conjures questions of cleanliness). Truly the spork is an under-rated invention in the world of cutlery. Best of both worlds in one implement… spoon and fork. You can quickly shift from stabbing to scooping with zero delay. No need to balance the unused utensil on your plate, leg or lap. No fear of the unneeded implement falling to the ground and leaving you to try and eat your green beans with a spoon. Frustrating.

I’d like to actually meet the inventor of the spork. Just to say thanks. He definitely made life easier.

Now I sit and wonder why the spork has declined in popularity in recent years. It’s such a handy thing. Now I know you can’t go stacking bean after bean on it like a traditional fork but it’s far less frustrating than scooping them with a spoon. A spork is a spoon with a bite in my opinion. We need more sporks. But we need useful sporks.

Spork 2The spork to the left I do not find very useful. At some point you are gonna get food on your hand unless you hold it in the middle which causes a loss of control. This could cause even more problems. I think the best design is the original. dual purpose head… good handle for control. If it ain’t broke don’t fix it I say.

I think I’ll ask my kids if they know what a spork is. That will be the litmus test of spork usage in the 21st century. Of course it may have gone the way of the Dodo or ‘jorts’ (jean shorts).

No matter what its fate may be, the spork has a special place in my vault of strange memories.