On the Road Again

The countdown has begun. in just a few short hours the Williams Zoo Crew will be packed into the ol’ Sedona and heading north to Black Mountain, NC. We will be staying a week at Becky’s mom’s place.

We don’t really have an agenda planned. We really just want to relax and get away. Start the new year off with something positive. I personally could just curl up on a couch with a blanket and a remote and just do absolutely nothing.

It looks to be about a 10 hour drive. The kids did great last year. They played games and watched movies. It should be even easier this trip because they are a bit older. We’ll see though. Gotta try and get the bathroom stop timing coordinated so we all go at the same time. Round-robin potty stops are not my idea of efficient travel time.

HammyWe’re taking the hamster with us too. Hammy Houdini is an escape artist extraordinaire and we don’t feel safe leaving him alone in the house with Leo the cat. Hammy finds different ways of escaping his cage from time to time and he usually ends up in the pan drawer of the stove. So Hammy comes along for the ride. Cat and fish stay home.

Well it’s wheels up at 6AM so I have a lot of packing and planning to do. I had to mow the lawn and take down all the outside Christmas lights before we leave. I get to pack all the stuff we take into a very small space in the van. It truly is an impressive feat if I do say so. I guess I took something away from the Army besides bad knees… the ability to pack.

MOOD THIS POST: Mood - Laugh Laughing in the face of a family trip.

Operation: Icky Freedom

Ok, I know I’m getting old now. Or maybe it’s just the fear of getting sick. I don’t know. I’m reaching a point in my life where I have a lower tolerance for disorder. Maybe it’s just Army training flashbacks. Maybe it’s the fact that for the last eight years my household has not been my own. It has been taken over, occupied by a hostile force that first came to us with promises of love and friendship… I refer to CHILDREN!

Kids 2006These small yet destructive forces that enter a home and systematically dismantle all you spent years building before their arrival. These deceptively innocent little smiling faces that hug you and adorn you with garlands of “I love you’s” then 3.75 minutes later are tossing baskets of clean laundry (that you just spent hours folding) item by item into the family room ceiling fan! All the while giggling at how ‘fun’ it is.

NO MORE I SAY!

I’ve decided that in 2007 I am taking back the house. I’ve begun a systematic plan of almost military precision and stealth to regain what was formerly mine and Becky’s. It all begins with the kitchen.

Now keep in mind we have been in our home for about six years now. We’ve never really done a ‘spring cleaning’. I’ve tried over the last couple of years to thin the crops of toys and baby gear we’ve accumulated since we moved in but of course every Christmas and birthday brings more ‘stuff’ into the house. But that’s another post for another day.

We are about to go on a week long trip to North Carolina in a couple of days and I set the bar pretty high. If they (the family) want to go to NC… then this house must be clean before we go. there’s nothing more disconcerting to go away on vacation, get all relaxed and then come home to chaos and clutter, especially in the kitchen… so again, this is where my campaign for the liberation of my home begins.

I took the day after Christmas off of work to relax, mainly because Christmas is too tiring for us. But the state of the kitchen was one where I just couldn’t take it anymore so I made it my first mission to rid the kitchen of invaders. The offensive began promptly at 9:30 AM EST — OCD-Day!

I cleaned every dish, cup, plate, bowl, pot, pan, muffin pan, spatula, etc. I could find. I cleaned all the counter tops. I even thinned the amount of counter clutter to a minimum. I went through every drawer, every cabinet, everything. I scrubbed all appliances. I scrubbed all cabinet surfaces. I reorganized all the counter items for a better ‘cooking-flow’. Twelve hours later I could claim a small victory. The kitchen was clean… Daddy clean. All that remained was to scrub the floors but that was a mission for the following day. After all my efforts I ended up with the kitchen looking like this…

kitchen
*The before photo is too graphic and cannot be shown. This is to protect those with weak constitutions.

Finally! One section down! Victory was in sight. The next night I spent an additional two hours on my hands and knees scrubbing the floor tiles with soap and water. It was overdue. Needless to say the floor hasn’t been that clean since we put the tile down. I left no inch of grout unscrubbed.

Now some people would say… “14 hours is a bit OCD to clean a single room in a house.” While I tend to agree, in all truth it really needed it. From this single room I can now launch all future liberation campaigns with ease and be assured of victory.

I will keep you apprised of my campaign. Out.

MOOD THIS POST: Mood - Tired Exhausted… from cleaning and typing.

I’m In a Star Wars State of Mind…

Thought for the day: “The Force is like duct tape… it has a light side, a dark side, and it binds the universe together.”

I was organizing my DVD collection the other day and I ran across my copy of Star Wars Episode III. I put all six movies together… quite the double trilogy! That being said… I got curious to see what funny pictures of stormtroopers I could find out on the web… man did I hit the jackpot! Here are some of my finds (the captions are mine though):

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Crap! This thing doesn’t take Imperial credits?! Maybe I can call collect…

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Umm… this is not my speeder… crap! Not again!

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Ok… I can’t read anything here. I miss Tatooine… sniffle…

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Ahhhh finally a moment to myself.

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There’s a reason it’s called the Yellow Sector.

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Recruitment Incentive #1: The Condos and Private Resorts

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Recruitment Incentive #2: The Social Mixers

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Recruitment Incentive #3: New Co-Ed Garrisons!

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This kind of thing wouldn’t have happened to me back in the day…

Stormtrooper Pet Peeves

11. “Bathroom in a Bag” uniform attachment gets leaky sometimes.

10. Health plan doesn’t cover “laser burn.”

9. Annoying hum of tie fighters makes it hard to concentrate during battles.

8. Constant “helmet hair.”

7. Tired of appearing on Tatooine’s Funniest Home Videos.

6. Cloned family members always bugging you for job.

5. Only thing plastic “armor” stops is you from moving quickly.

4. They only show the dumb stuff we do in the movies, none of our great accomplishments or charity work.

3. Helmet not rated for impact with control room door.

2. Nobody ever asks you how you are.

1. Never seem to find the droids you’re looking for.

And for the ULTIMATE stormtroper spoof click here. (be sure to watch for the MST3K nod)

MOOD THIS POST: Mood - Wary Blaster-burned

They Go In Sets of Three

two down… on to go

It’s a well known idea that all things come and go in 3’s. Good things, bad things, people dying, etc. Well at Chic-fil-A today I was waiting for the unbelievably slow day crew to get my order together and I happened to see the USA Today paper on the counter. Surprisingly I saw that James Brown and President Ford both had died in the last few days. I guess the ‘Godfather of Soul’ didn’t feel so good (sorry but it was too easy and had to be said).

I was truly shocked because obviously I’ve been buried in the holiday chaos to even turn on a news channel or read a news web site. So since we have two down, the question is… who’s next?

My personal feeling is Saddam… apparently the clock is ticking for him.

MOOD THIS POST: Mood - Wary Paranoid… am I next?

UPDATE: Well I guess it was Saddam who capped out the three.

Welcome to the drip…

Well I decided to start my own blog… separate from my wife’s blog. I also decided to try out WordPress.com instead of using Blogger. My hope is to start posting daily, but at least weekly if I can’t keep up the daily pace. Well wish me luck.

MOOD THIS POST: Mood - Happy Happy